The guest list is potentially one of the most stressful parts of planning your wedding day. It doesn’t matter whether you’re having a small gathering or a giant affair in a mansion; there are still people who’ll expect to be invited who you really don’t want to be there. But how do you get around this? We’ve given it some thought and here’s our handy way to determine what people you don’t need to invite to your big day.
How do you decide which of your several hundred "friends" to invite after you've posted your engagement photos online? Do you put anyone on a waiting list? Having planned dozens of weddings and seen these questions come up repeatedly, I decided to investigate what the relevant etiquette sources had to say on the subject. And after finding them lacking, I ultimately came up with my own list of rules that I have been sending couples for years to help them in their quest to generate the best and most appropriate wedding guest list.
Getting Started ~
So you're engaged! You and your fiancé may be wondering "Where do we start?"
1) Write down all of the names of everyone you would like to see when you walk down the aisle.
2) Then, consult your families.
* This is a very important step. Depending on your situation, parents have expectations about who is invited to your wedding. Especially if they are paying! Discuss these expectations from the start to avoid future conflict.
3) Now go down your gust list & discuss if they should be invited using the chart above. Chances are several of the names on your list can be crossed off.
Like any set of rules, there are always exceptions, so use your best judgment.
Finally, you need to be prepared for that incredibly painful moment when someone says, "Congratulations! Am I invited?" Here's a wonderful opportunity to deploy a phrase that you'll use countless times after you have said your vows: "Let me check with my spouse/partner and get back to you."
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